” The best feeling in the world is kissing someone for the first time when you’ve really wanted to kiss them for a long time. ”
Got to admit, I wasn’t ready for my morning to start out the way it did. Believe me, I do love eating breakfast but the combination of Super Free cupcakes, cauliflower and an intense coversation with a dear friend was just what the doctor ordered. I just know it.
This weeks art journal prompts are right up this week alley.
First Kiss. & Fireworks.
Now I bet your thinking that fireworks are simply one of the options because the Fourth being only a few days away but honestly, I’m not going to talk about those kinda fireworks. I’m going all out and combining my first real kiss with the fireworks I still feel when ” that guys ” name is mentioned. For my privacy and his he will be go unnamed. Sorry. Thought of many ways to use his name through out this post and clever ways were found but alas … I better not. He may read this someday.
Here goes my version of the story – not promising but this could be romanticized a bit.
Do I remember that first kiss? Like it was three minutes ago! Do I remember the fireworks I felt? I feel that same fire burning through my bones on every remembered occasion. I don’t know if most girls feel this but from what I hear that first kiss is not something you ever forget. It’s not that first kiss of a boy that you like in your 5th grade class that I’m talking about, it’s that first kiss of something special, of something so deep down that you just know you lost a very important piece of yourself in that strange and incredible moment. You never want to open your eyes. You never want to stop touching this other persons lips for as long as you live. This is the kinda kiss I’m talking about. Deep down you make a pact with yourself that this moment, this kiss, this guy is yours … forever.
My morning conversation with my dearest friend brought back a lot of memories for me and ” that guy “. Our conversations seem to always round themselves back on ” that guy” even though it has been years since we parted. The one thing that has stayed the same since our first kiss has been that special spot ” that guy ” took from my body, that special part of me that went missing. I noticed while talking this morning that emptiness was still there. I could tell that some healing had taken place, I could tell that growing up or growing mature or growing wiser ( whatever you want to call it ) has changed many aspects of that empty hole but ( sigh ) I could still feel it.
Time has sneaky way of looking at our bodies and saying yes, you need to wrinkle here and droop a little there. Time can look at our minds and say to us that all those little moments don’t matter anymore because we are not the person we once were, or it can change our attitudes to get us through either the good times or the horrible times. The one thing time has not been able to touch for me ( trust me Father Time and I have tried many potions, strategies and ways to rid this sometimes achy problem ) was that very first, life altering, firework exploding, cosmic moment that changed-my-stars-forever first kiss.
Let me back up the story a bit. When I was 11 my world was rocked to the core. Mom ended up working multiple jobs and after school my time was spent at her second job. This was the greatest yet the most hated place in the world. The bowling alley. I say it was the greatest place now but then I hated being drug from school to the bowling alley only to stay up late waiting for the chance to go home. Then again I was 11 and found things to do after my dreaded homework was done, if I did it that is. Many nights I found myself alone after a certain time so I would crawl under my dear friends desk and fall asleep to the sound of crashing pins. This same friend is who I talked to this morning.
The greatest part of hanging around a bowling alley for hours on end day after day was getting pretty good and maintaining a somewhat good average, bowling anywhere between 10 – 16 games to kill time and making new friends. This last part really wasn’t hard. I don’t remember how it all happened but there they were. People that took me in and made me part of the group.
I had friends!
Friends I could hang with!
Then it happened, “that guy ” showed up. Oh man, I can remember my heart was racing every time I saw him. I can even remember telling my mom that he was mine. A bit territorial for a youngster? Yes! But it was sooo true. I was bound and determined that when I got older he would be mine. No, I hadn’t been kissed yet But I knew, and nothin’ and nobody was going to change my mind.
Fast forward four years. I’m now 15. Life has changed and “that guy” had disappeared. I had no idea of his where abouts, no clue when I would see him again so I practiced my kissing skills with other boys. Just kissing skills I promise you that! I don’t remember ever asking my dear friend where ” that guy ” went. I don’t remember even talking about him but I bet we did.
One day out of the blue, I’m bowling league or something and I come off the approach and my dear friend was standing there with ” that guy ” ( insert instant heart attack here and the thoughts of “Oh my gawd, they are watching me ) my dear friend grabs me by the shoulders whips me around and blerts out ” she has boobs, she finally has boobs “! Pretty sure this was one of the few times I turned beet red, we are talking dragons blood beet red. If I didn’t show it I sure felt it.
Can’t say I have ever had such an introduction since then. Glad my dear friend was impressed at my then B cup and I’m happy to say I’m glad that my dear friend was so bold at that moment. I wasn’t. From that highly embarrassing moment on my world was set on fire. ” That Guy ” was back and he knows I have boobs. Hahahaa!
Two weeks later … ” That guy ” called. I was bowled over. I was done for. I was over the moon. I was hooked and the poor sap didn’t even know it. Or did he? I don’t know.
We were inseperable. We spent everyday together. We shared that wonderful first kiss and many, many more, each kiss sinking me further and further into oblivion. Each kiss exploding wth fireworks! Everything I dreamt about, everything I could imagine about love came true for me and it all started with that first kiss. I was sold.
Many of the most important moments in my life ” That guy ” shared with me. Many smiles, many movies, many dinners, many birthdays, many sad times and most of all that special moment of loss. ” That guy ” has always brought out the best in me. ” That guy ” has always been a part of my life. One day not too very long ago I told him that he was the kinda guy that was not in my life for an hour, or a day, or a brief time but that he was there for my life time and I meant it.
Both of us now working on surviving multiple disastrous relationships and failed marriages, both striving to be the best humans we can and both of us holding a special spot for the other. The one moment that will always bring a tear to my eye and shock waves from my head to my summery painted toes today is that kiss and the fireworks that make my heart skip to the beat of “Sugar Magnolia” by the Grateful Dead.