“Do not listen with the intent to reply, listen with the intent to understand.”
This is a quote that is truly close to my heart. Found it a few years back when deeply studying and understanding my role as a strategic thinker. My desire to be a life coach kicked in pretty hard after being “let go” as high school sailing coach. Crushing moment in my life. This was the moment in the early early spring that sparked a new revival of me. This radical change spurred me on to overcome a huge loss, and to redefine exactly what I was intended to do with my life. Little did I know that change would take place gradually over the next few years.
Aspiring to live this idea of listening to understand – as a human it’s easy to reply with a comment or two about what we know – but to listen and understand is a whole different challenge. For sure.
“When you talk you are only repeating what you already know, but if you listen, you may learn something new.”– Dalai Lama
Now let’s take this whole listening thing a step further. STOP TALKING.
Do you realize how hard this is? Not talking. Not giving out the advise because you are a babbling idiot ( so I have come to understand about myself, because really what do I or any of you really know, unless you are an expert on such topics and in all reality are you ever truly an expert … )
As someone who likes to be social – when the mood strikes or when I’m comfortable with someone – it’s really hard to shut the trap and actually listen when there is a captive audience. Then again I force myself to do just that. Learn from what others are saying rather then prove to myself and everyone else just how much I knew. One cannot really give advise if one dose not listen to the exact problem of another person or truly listen to the heart of the problem when one is rambling on about what one knows. Listening to understand the heart of another is nearly impossible. It’s been tried and the methods have failed. Personally, it’s because our brains were not allowed to understand the heart issues. Plain and simple. We need a guide to understand the deeper issues of the heart. And really, do people truly open up about their heart issues or do they want you to listen to their dramas?
Talk about a life change. Talk about a real life shocker to the system.
I was … am … a babbling idiot.
“Listening is an art the requires ATTENTION over TALENT, SPIRIT over EGO, OTHERS over SELF.”
Are you freakin’ kidding me!? Never in a million years could there have been such a noticeable change between stopping the talking and truly listening. Such voices to be heard. 4 to be exact unless you are in a conversation with someone. I’m not talking crazy, I’m learning to discern the differences. Don’t get me wrong, there maybe multiple personalities floating around in my mind but there are ways to know the truth and the ugly. ? I am not crazy nor do I have multiply personalities. Just saying out loud what people could be thinking while reading this.
Let me go on …
You remember the story of the white wolf and the black wolf … each of us has both. Well, there you go, there’s two of the voices. You also have your own voice and the voice of the creator. There I said it. I listen to multiple voices just like you and you and you. Include a visual in your brain of me pointing to a crowd of people to get the full effect that everyone of yous does the same exact thing.
Attention over Talent. Well now, we all know we suffer from immense talent that weighs us down to the point of exploding all our knowledge on to someone else when we just know we have a solution to their so called problem. ( insert sarcasm here ) Paying attention is a whole other ball game. We are simple talking apples and oranges or bowling and basketball. Completely different topic.
This takes listening to the point of looking past yourself and your answer to what the person is sayin’. Sometimes it any easy.
Spirit over Ego – now here is a tougher one. Must silence the voices and listen for truth. Shut your own ego down and focus on the voice of reason, of purity, of goodness, of peace, of beauty, of justice, of stillness. The Spirits’ voice is the only voice that can touch the heart of another. It’s the only one that knows the truth. Absolute truth of another.
Others over Self …………. Oh Good Lawrd, seriously!? The true definition of service. Defy yourself and your inner ego, or your talents, or your insecurities and fears for the sake of building others up. Yikes. This just levels up the conversation.
“You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen —- simply wait. You need not even wait. Just learn to become quiet and still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” – Frank Kafka
Many days lately are spent in quiet solitude. Still trying to figure out this whole listening thing. Sometimes waiting gets chaotic, sometimes listening gets confusing so reading takes over. One day this will be a perfected art. One day listening will win and the the unmasked will roll in with ecstasy. Until then. I will learn to listen and discern between what I’m hearing, what I know and the truth as it is spoken. Listening brings on visuals, visuals bring out the mighty pen and the mighty pen brings on truth that needs to be spread.
Demands to be spread.
We strive so hard to define ourselves and create for ourselves the perfect version of ourselves. Flaws and all. How could this not be helpful!? Really!? We are flawed!?
Honestly, we didn’t listen. Nor did we take the time to sit and wait for the universe or the Spirit to unfold to us the parts of us that are masked. So clearly we are not in tuned with who we really are. We are babbling idiots without a personal clue. Hopeless.
Until we take time to shut down our egos, we pay attention, we listen and wait for the whole purpose and intent to unravel. Until we can do all that, we will just be a world of babbling idiots.