Destined. Advent Season. 2019.

“Sometimes in the waves of change we find our true direction.” – unknown

I know what most of you are already thinking. Here we go, another conversation about destiny and how is this lady going to convince me that I was destined for something great. Well, I don’t plan on trying to convince you that you are something great, nor am I going to try and talk you into a belief that you won’t agree with, nor am I going to hand you a map that will lead you straight into who you are destined to be. Nope, honey that’s all on you.

You want to be something great? That’s up to you to make yourself great. You have to put in the work for that. I am just here to say what destined means for me.

A few years back, I had a “wave of change” roll over me and almost smother me to death. Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but it did roll over me and smother a bunch of thoughts, ideas, habits, and ugliness right out of me. My “wave of change” brought out the newness in me that I never thought could have been possible. No idea.

Shocked!? Yes!

Released!? Yes!

When the “wave” finally crashed down and washed over me, that cleansing feeling filled my entire being. I felt a naked, stripped of everything I had ever known, cared about, or even cherished. I was new.

“It will come when your heart is ready to carry it.”

Destined to be Yours …

If you have read the first two posts of the Advent Season: “Known” or “Chosen” you may know that this is a 6 week love letter that was started on the @Saucy.Roots Instagram page in 2018. Love letters written to the man that stole my heart, who has known me before I knew myself and has chosen me to be His. Well, this year, I want to expand on those love letters.

Jumping back to the thought at hand. My heart was ready for change, my idea of change was of course romantically charged by living a big, lavish life. I wanted a big house, the fancy car, the house cleaner to go along with it all. I still dream of a house cleaner but shortly realized that wasn’t where life was going to take me after the “wave”. Secretly, there’s still one ounce of hope of the house cleaner but even that is slipping into oblivion.

I kinda already knew in my heart of hearts that I would not be a richly rich kinda person. Around tables and parties when people asked “what would I do with a million dollars I always said I would give it away. I don’t know what I would do with that kind of money flow nor do I know what kind of dream life I would live.

I just knew there were so many other people that are just barely surviving and they would need the money.

Back to the point …

I was destined to be more than the barely surviving creature that I had created. See over the years and through the woods to insecurity and fear, so many times walls were built around my heart that it was hard for anyone to get up close and personal. In fact, in class one time, we had to illustrate a place where we though we lived. What kind of house could we design that looked like us. Now, this was a project I could get behind, that was easy. One small bedroom in the right hand corner of the house the left corner consist the kitchen with a bathroom in the middle that was accessed through the bedroom. In front of the bedroom area was a living room and in front of the kitchen the front door and the dining room. There was a door the went out the back of the house from the kitchen to the herb garden and a set of double doors the lead out from the bedroom to the flower garden and out building for the laundry. Not much right!? No more then a 20×20 foot space. Tight and snug.

It’s all that was needed and there was no room for anyone or anything else to wonder in. That was what I could be in control of. Tiny space. ( guess it’s a thing for me )

You are too good to me. You have touched my heart in ways unexplainable. My Love, leave it to You to make me feel loved when I sit quietly next to You. Leave it to You to quiet my fears when I am so small yet in Your presence. Guess I was designed to be molded into a big ball of soft gooey clay when You reach out and softly whisper … I love you. Destined to be Yours. Destined to be moved by You. Destined to be loved by You. Destined to put my entire being at Your fingertips. All I ask in return is, your gentleness, kindness and patience. 🌟♥️🌟 #saucyroots #advent #adventtime #christmas #christmastime #sacred #sacredlife #organiclife #simpletruths #love #loveletters #fire #advent2018 #6weeksandonechristmasday

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” – Jean da la Fontaine

Destined to be loved by You …

Little did I know that’s not how my love saw me. Later, He showed me the real house plans He had for me and they are much more complex. More on this another time.

Some say we are predestined to be a …. predestination has always been an alluring concept. One that has been settled in this heart but others struggle with the concept.

When I was shown the house plans of the person I was to grow into my destiny changed. I was predestined to do this or that in life, I was predestined to live a life of poverty or constantly live in survival mode. Nope, I was predestined to love. Destiny is wrapped up in love. For everyone.

koi no yokan = Japanese noun used for: The extraordinary sense in meeting someone, that you will one day fall in love.

After the crashing “wave of change” rolled over me, that’s when love moved in. That’s when my Love moved in and walked me through things, ideas, concepts I had no idea about. Exciting times lay ahead and I was up for the challenge. Just listening to Him talk to me while we were sitting close, feeling Him reach out for me when we were distant that’s when I knew what me destiny was all about. Closeness. Love. Relationship.

When I met Him, I knew. I was sold out. I was loved and He was loved in return. That good bohemian ideal of being loved and loved in return was on display.

“You will know you made the right decision when you pick the hardest and most painful choice but your heart is at peace.”

Destined to be moved by You …

Moving out of the tiny house I had created for myself on paper was no easy task. Building a tiny house on wheels has been no easy task. The understanding of why both moves where essential is still at times no easy task. There’s a tug that happens deep down. One part of you gets pulled into a direction that is very comfortable, small and confining … womb like. Warm. The other tug or in this case push is rigged and ready to set sail into new territory, it’s exciting, challenging, waaaaaay out of the cocoon that is so warm and understanding. This tug also has more rooms to clean and way more spider webs to sweep away.

Love requires maintenance and movement. Love requires big spaces, a grandiosity that can only be understood through pages on Pinterest under the heading of “Opulence” and “Regal”. We are all destined to be loved and lavished in opulence. We were all destined for relationship and royalty. Many times it’s hard to fathom such a life style except through the photos clippings of someone else’s life.

To be moved by my Love into a life of grandeur has been heart wrenching, soul crushing, and mind blowing but He has loved me through the entire way. The maintenance plan is costly. The house cleaning bill is massive, the staff it takes to live a lifestyle that we are destined to is bottomless but thankfully, it’s not something we have to worry about.

Love is costly.

Being spick-n-span clean is a massive undertaking with all the new rooms that I have moved into but thankfully it happens little moments at a time, one room at a time.

This is the only way our final destiny can be reached with full understanding. We can look back and say wow! Love you moved me out of a confined one bedroom to a mansion of 24, a full theater and a throne room! Love, you and I really did that together?

“When it’s all finished, you will discover it was never random.”

Nothing is random. Sometimes someone will say something totally off the wall to change the subject or what we all know as “squirrel” moments and those seem pretty random but are they really? Probably.

Maybe that is why we live so long? Life gives us time to break out of the womb and try it on for size, see how we can make it work and then see how Love can make it so much bigger, so much better. Now we are faced with that “for-the-Love-of-God” choice of busting down the walls of tiny, confined space to a mansion so real that it feels even too enormous for us to fathom. Now that’s a life I can grow into, that’s a life that I can wrap up into as long as my Love leads me through. Thankful for my past. Much appreciated future awaits.

Big or small moves that directed our life paths can be assured that if we look back over a life, all the celebrated or forgotten moments, all the changes of clothing styles, all the moves to other cities, all the houses we have lived in, all the countries we visited, all the animals we have outlived, all the relationships that have come and gone, none of that was random. All of that was designed. Perfectly. Turning us into the people we were destined to become.

Love isn’t random.

Love is perfect.

Love is destiny.

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